Andrea's Stories

Andrea's Blog

2011-12-16T02:27:00.000+01:00

Hi,

Thanks for those who still kept coming back, although not much happened here recently...

I am busier on my website, in Andrea's Blog. Please go over there, I can't keep up with double posting, and that is where I am sharing stuff now.

Thanks again for being around, see you on the other side!

Andrea

I belong

2011-01-17T00:41:00.003+01:00

I was without a computer for a few months, now virtual life is easier again.

A new year of my life began yesterday, with a new poem...

On my birthday, I sometimes get into philosophical mood... Around this day of the year, it is indeed usual that something happens where I feel a new life has began in one way or the other.

At the age of 10, by an accidental meeting with another little girl, I got introduced to the local folk dance group, and that set me on a path for this life.
When I was 19, I spent my birthday in a hospital with an unusually heavy Hepatitis where the doctors said I needed to be very careful with moving, for at least a half year. A few weeks later I was on stage, touring with the dance group in Slovakia...

In 1993, I got my son as a present - two years later in January, I broke up with his father and we divorced. In the same time, my beloved Grandma, who used to sing the lullabies so beautifully, passed away...

In 2000, somehow, a very happy and productive period of my life started, overnight: Beauty of the world

In 2008, I had a cancer surgery...

And today (I wrote this on Saturday, this now is a copy&paste), without going into more details here, I am giving myself the most precious present of freedom:

I BELONG

It kills me when I can't speak,
It kills me when I have to be
Silent about what I see.

It kills me when I have to lie,
When I have to put on a smile
That I don't feel inside.

Just an empty façade.

When I see it's black
And they say it's white.

When I see it’s not right
And they say it’s all fine.

It kills me when I must show
That everything is right.

Insidious, poisonous,
Slowly creeping, surely killing
Cancer of the soul.

"I can't tell it to anyone,
So I tell it to everyone" -
Our friend has said it.

So I chose to LIVE.

Live a life that only belongs to me
Yet it is of all Man.

Live a life where I decide
What is true for me.

Where I am the one
Who says what I see.

Where birds have wings to fly,
Mothers to hear babies cry,
Where the children are not shy.

Live a life where poets write,
Dancers jump and turn,
Painters set the color.

I belong to Life.

I belong to where laughter roars
And where lovers kiss,

And where empty promises
Are not part of the script.

Where sanity rules.
Where the Spirit calls.

I belong to no party, no club,
No church or religion,
Organization, association.

I belong to my own kind,
My only child,
My peace of mind.

I belong to my own voice.

I belong to the ever-hungry
For beauty and melody.

And probably, hopefully,
I belong to another heart.

I belong to those
Who make food with a brush,
A pen, a bow, a string, a lens.

I belong to the free-thinkers,
Free-sayers and free-doers.

And when I'll have to look back
At all my years,
With eyes already closed,
The question will be asked:

Was it good, the way I belonged?

- Budapest, 15 January 2011

Also in Andrea's Blog

Drifting

2010-06-11T01:50:00.002+02:00

As I said in my previous post Imagining where I showed my first ever poem in my mother tongue to those who read Hungarian, there was yet another poem in the making, but in English, just as all of the earlier ones.
Voila!

DRIFTING

Drifting in your music,
Passionate,
Ethereal,
Ecstatic.

Drifting in your talking,
Meaningful,
Playful,
Caring.

Drifting in your being,
Powerful,
Loveful,
Yearning.

You are drifting me away
To places I have never seen -
Or are these places
I have always known,
Always wanted to be?

I wonder
Where are you taking me?

Drifting me along...

- Andrea Gerak

Also in Andrea's Blog

Imagining

2010-06-08T13:20:00.001+02:00

Been hit by creativity... I have written a couple of poems in the past 12 years, but for some mysterious reason, only in English, none of them in my mother tongue...

And now my very first Hungarian poem was just born! Which is again, a bit mysterious, because in the past decade, I spent more time abroad than in my homeland, I haven't been there now for more than 9 months... Here it is for those of you who understand this strange little language and want to read it.

Tried to translate it into English, but I find it rather difficult: not only technically, having to find the right words in a foreign language, but more importantly, I feel it would lose something from its mood, the spontaneous atmosphere, the feeling I had right then and right there. For me, it is completed, I said what I wanted to say with it - now let's see the next one :-)

Which is already forming, in English again... Back to you soon :-)

Also in Andrea's Blog

Little good things

2010-04-13T01:30:00.002+02:00

Little good surprises are happening: yesterday met 2 girlfriends in town, one minute after I've thought about them, and they invited me to a yummy dinner. Later, I discovered a bunch of wonderful photos in my camera from the past week or so that I have forgot about, AND I could hardly believe this one: found my Hungarian SIM card I lost a couple of months ago! I have 3 phone numbers but only 2 phones I like to use, so I always had to change the tiny little cards and keep one of them in my purse, that's how I dropped it.

When I stepped out of the door this afternoon, I saw something red on the ground - and there was it, my SIM card with my Hungarian phone number! As the snow and all the winter rubbish is disappearing, it had a chance to surface. Yayyy!!! I can use it again, don't have to change my number or wait until I go to Hungary and can get a new one.

So, anyone of you who had my Hungarian number: it's alive!

Then I went to the internet café to print out something and got 10 extra pages, because the girl I asked to help me clicked too many times and it started to print immediately.
To top it off, I was even invited for a piece of cake, because the staff and a few friends were celebrating the new car of the owner... :-)) Lovely place. (The best net café in town, Firewall, Götgatan 88, if you guys in Stockholm wanna know)

Just wanted to tell ya :-) Hmmm... maybe it's just the spring and sun?

One of the photos that I got out from my camera:

Also in Andrea's Blog

Dancing violets

2010-04-05T13:24:00.001+02:00

In the summer of 2002, I did a few songs for an exhibition of a very fine Hungarian painter Mária Jeremiás, in a beautiful church in Budapest. (How wonderful is that: to have beautiful paintings and songs in a sacred place?) These words came into my mind in the early spring next year, on my way back to Budapest from Vienna, while I was looking at the still snowy scene from a bus.
Unfortunately, I lost contact with the lady and can't find her, so I can't show you her delicate painting...

DANCING VIOLETS
(for a painting of Mária Jeremiás)

Have you ever seen violets when they dance?

As I look out of my window,
Trees are heavy from silver snow,
The horizon is a big white pillow.
But spring is coming soon, a new chance,
And they will dance, the violets.

They turn, jump, wave, bend,
Spread happiness in the forest,
With green, fragile, light legs,
Brighten up the darkest night
When they dance, the violets.

They invite the sun shining, rainbow smiling,
Little girls singing, little boys laughing,
And all the world playing.
With their velvet blossom heads,
When they dance, the violets.

Happy Easter everyone!

--
Text: Andrea Gerak
Photo: Violets carpet, by Roberto Fontana

Also in Andrea's Blog

Stuck in Stockholm

2010-04-05T13:17:00.001+02:00

Catching up a bit... I posted things in Andrea's Blog on my website but didn't put them here yet. So here is a recent one.

I love blogging... Just created another one... on the English news site for Sweden, The Local, and I named it Stuck in Stockholm. Often I would like to write more about my experiences than what my Stockholm photo blog would allow, and also, I guess it's the best to change viewpoints on my love & hate relationship with Sweden, with locals and expats living here. Sometimes to let out a little steam... or to get an answer to something I can't figure out.

People keep me asking all the time how did I get here in Sweden, how long ago, what do I do here, etc - here you go:

I arrived here 4 years ago (to be exact, on Lucia's Day 2005), from England where I met the guy I married there. Me from Hungary, he from Sweden, got to know each other near to London, in the house of a girlfriend of mine (an opera singer from my home town in Northern Hungary) and her husband (a Spanish concert pianist).

He took me here to Stockholm, for this is where he had his family, knew his way around, the whole system etc, moving to Sweden together looked the most sound way to build up our life.

Trying to make it short: we divorced a few months ago... He is a wonderful, extremely intelligent man, a great husband etcetera, but we just couldn't make our two very different lives get working together. A Swede, doing his day-to-day job and in the evenings sitting on the sofa, surfing on the net and playing computer games, for hours and hours, with no hobbies, no passions or real purposes to pursue, very seldom communicating with others, not going out and do any fun things or meeting friends - and a Hungarian who's life is all about passion, drive, creativity, communication, meeting people, finding new friends, discovering things, sharing experiences, diving into the cultural happenings, actively participating in creating events, performing, singing, dancing and so on. Easy to see that it just couldn't work out.

And now I am in Stockholm, for my Hungarian son has chosen to do his high school here and of course Mommy has her duties to fulfill. (Okay, he is big enough now and basically I am free to go wherever I want to)

That's why the title.

In the past more than 10 years, I have been living in 4 other countries which are all have the reputation as being stiff, cold and rigid (Austria, Germany, Switzerland and England), but I have never felt so low, lonely and homesick for my little, crazy and poor country than being here in big, envied, rich Sweden...

For 4 years now, I have been honestly trying to make Stockholm my home, first for the sake of my husband, now for my son who likes it here, and there are many things I absolutely love here, admire the beauty of the place, amazed by how well certain things work etc - and struggling extremely hard to find my way in this mentality and atmosphere that I just can't grasp...

Stuck in Stockholm - is it good or bad? I yet shall see...

Stockholm Opera, 10 days ago or so

Also in Andrea's Blog

My first poem

2010-03-16T15:23:00.003+01:00

Looks like they are coming up, one after the other...

This is my very first poem I wrote way back when I was living in Vienna for a while, exactly these days of the year, middle of March. On a Sunday morning, around 7, I woke up to the notion of having the first words of a poem in my mind.

Opened my eyes quickly, got paper and pencil and finished it. And strange enough, but a bit later I was also thinking about a melody for it, still didn't do anything with it. Just these days now I scraped it out from my back drawers and started to work it out.

Even more strange that that time, I didn't even have a clue of who was the person I was writing it to...

I'LL BE YOU

Take my love and I'll be you,
Take my thought and I'll be you,
Take my eyes and I'll be you,

Take my lips and I'll be you,
Take my hand and I'll be you,
Take my body and I'll be you,

Take my hope and I'll be you,
Take my dreams and I'll be you,
Take my soul and I'll be you,

Take my goal and I'll be you,
Take my heart and I'll be you,
Take my life, forever YOU.

-- Andrea Gerak

Also in Andrea's Blog
More poems
More love stories

A song is born

2010-03-14T02:23:00.004+01:00

In the mood for poetry these days... After the previous one that I have posted, Why did you come to me, I was thinking about another one that I also wrote a couple of years ago, for another fantastic guy I had.

He was a musician, an extraordinarily gifted performer, a great soul and a very nice man. We would talk about all kind of stuff, he was also quite philosophical and spiritual, we had some wonderful time in his home studio, working on new songs, he would take his guitar and we'd sing together, shared a few moments even on stage when I did backing vocals for him, accompanied him to some of his gigs in great places - just a perfect life for two artists... But that time I was making Mistake #5 (from my series on How not to choose the right partner?, see previous postings), which definitely doesn't help a relationship... We still speak every now and then, after all those years that have passed by.

And I think I didn't show him this one:

A SONG IS BORN

It's not easy when you say
You can't be with me tonight,
And I can see your inner fight
To see that every word is right.

A song is born,
That's why you like to be alone.

Giving birth is hard sometimes,
See the teardrops in my eyes,
Though I wanted to be with you,
I let you go 'cause that's our life.

A song is born,
That's why you like to be alone.

I understand your reason why,
Then you kiss my lips so fine.
And you feel what I feel,
It's all of you what your eyes reveal.

A song is born.
-- Andrea Gerak

Photo: Paul J. S.

Also in Andrea's Blog

Why did you come to me?

2010-03-11T09:41:00.007+01:00

In the article on How not to choose the right partner? Mistake #4 in my Survival Guide I mentioned a wonderful romance I have had, and that I have written a few poems to that man. I pointed here to see the poems, but now I just realized that I have only posted some of them on Facebook - so here is one.

WHY DID YOU COME TO ME?

Why did you come to me?
Why did you call me?
Why did you listen to me?
Why did you look at me?
Why did you talk to me?
Why did you play with me?
Why did you need me?
Why did you get me?

Why did you take me home?
Why did you let me go?
Why did you want me more?
Why did you make me want you more?
Why did you lift me up?
Why did you give me fun?
Why didn't you rush with that?
Why didn't you break my heart?

Why did you only make me smile?
Why did you never make me cry?
Why did you tell me sweet little lies?
Why did you come for me from 1000 miles?
Why did you say:"I wanna be with you"?
Why did you make me wanna be with you?
Why did you make me loose control?
Why did you make me craving for more?

Why did you kiss me so?
Why did you touch me so?
Why did you taste me so?
Why did you feel me so?
Why did you make me feel you so?
Why did you make me look at you so?
Why did you make me kiss you so?
Why did you make me hold you so?

Why did you see me beautiful?
Why did you say:"You're wonderful"?
Why did you make me dream of you?
Why did you make me sing for you?
Why did you take my power?
Why did you give me your power?
Why did you make me a woman?
Why did you give me you, great man?

Why did you inspire me?
Why did you admire me?
Why did you respect me?
Why did you teach me?
Why did you fancy me?
Why did you care for me?
Why did you conquer me?
Why did you free me?

You must have known I'd been missing you.
You must have known I'd been loving you.

-- Andrea Gerak

It was indeed as beautiful a story as these words tell, something you can see in the Pretty Woman type movies... We met at some of the most romantic places in Europe, like Andalucia, Vienna, Salzburg, Budapest...

Photo: from here

Unfortunately, it couldn't last forever, for our lives were way too different and couldn't match, but I wish for all my fellow women to have one such a wonderful man in their lives.

Also in Andrea's Blog

Womens Day

2010-03-08T11:21:00.003+01:00

<a href="http://andreagerak.bandcamp.com/track/gy-ngyvir-g-lily-of-the-valley">Gyöngyvirág (Lily Of The Valley) by Andrea Gerak</a>

Sending flowers for all my fellow girls, chicks, gals, sisters, women, ladies - did I miss anyone?

Here they are, look more stunning on black background and in larger size.

Have a wonderful one!

Also in Andrea's Blog

Just a little lullaby

2010-02-17T13:45:00.004+01:00

I have not done too much promotion for my new album This Way, Sweetheart! yet and interesting things are happening.

A few days ago I met a guy shortly, a real huge Viking, all in black leather and stuff, a true heavy metal fan. I sang just one song to him as his friends - actually, I was not even finished with the first verse when he reached for his valet and bought my CD...

This was the second time that strangers I met and who heard about my songs for the very first time in their entire life, heard this one particular song only and bought a whole album.

Talking about this one: Beli Buba, Beli - maybe you will like it, too :-)

Just a little lullaby, in a strange language that is understood by only 15 million people in the whole world...

Also in Andrea's Blog

My funny Valentine

2010-02-15T01:23:00.001+01:00

Red and pink hearts, flowers and gift boxes&bags, chocolates, cards and love songs everywhere - Valentine's.
I hope all of you who celebrate it, had a wonderful time!

That (the decoration and gifts part) was the "head in the clouds" side of it, beauty, creation, romance and all, so let's take a look at the "feet on the ground" side of love and relationships as well - at the end of the day, one will find that without a solid foundation, cards, flowers and chocolates are very nice, but will not do all the trick needed to a happy relationship...

I started to put down a couple of thoughts about the subject, that might help others, with actual examples from my own life or stories I have seen around me:

How not to choose the right partner? Mistake #1 and
How not to choose the right partner? Mistake #2

This is a very dry, rough and tough Valentine's Day posting from an artist who is supposed to spread all the beauty and light, isn't it?

You are right, so let's put our heads back in the clouds and get some aesthetics!

My latest album is full of love songs (14, out of 17 tracks), happy ones, sad ones - what you just wish:

And for something completely different: Chet Baker live

Also in Andrea's Blog

Restless people

2010-01-15T15:01:00.092+01:00

I guess I need to go and buy a hyper-waterproof mascara - after reading all the birthday wishes, greetings, cards, this seems to be a proper thing to do, to be prepared for tomorrow's Hungarian folk music and dance party with Barozda, where the violin and the other strings touch right the very bottom of one's heart... (If you are around Stockholm, here is the info and I'll be more than happy to see you there!)

This is what I had: Budapest pastry/cake - a Swedish yummyness

So today is the day when I became - as a dear friend put it - one more year, more beautiful :-))

And indeed, I feel so: one more year more active, creative, happy, free... Now when I am over 40, I can see much more opportunities, goals and purposes in life and ways to achieve them, I have much more creative ideas, than when I was, say, 20. Free to create my life the way I want it, free to plan and do things that I want to do and not somebody else says I should. (Of course I have difficulties and problems, but they are simply there so that I have something to overcome :-)

Isn't that strange? That's not the way it is supposed to be, because "everybody knows" that the older one gets, the more the bright dreams of young years fade into a distant, intangible fog, the more one's ability to learn new things decrease, the more one is supposed to sink into a comfortable, safe, decent, established, no-more-risk and no-more-adventure life, where one sees the things he once wanted to do, more and more as a nostalgic picture to sigh about...

The most sure way to kill a person is to make nothing out of his hopes, dreams and purposes. The father telling his kid that he needs to get a normal job, instead of encouraging him to make music or paint which he loves so much and he has a great talent for it, is destroying the life of his own offspring. The teacher who tells the student that it's alright Julie darling, you don't need to sing with the others, with such a voice, or okay Willie, with such a body structure, you can never make it into the local hockey team, but it's alright, not everybody can be a sporstman, is killing the child he is supposed to guide on his way.

These people are either not your friends and have bad intentions, either they really mean good to you, but simply don't know any better.

Short time ago, I went to the governmental artist agency here in Sweden, they are supposed to help artists to find jobs. Having performed 30 years on stages of Europe, with a thick press book with me, I was not qualified as an artist, because I haven't got the papers of formal music education... You won't believe what the lady said to me: that I should find a job in a theater, behind the stage, like a dresser or something, because then I could be closer to my dreams...

Closer to my dreams... oh yeah... And what about your dreams, Mam??? Maybe I should have asked her...

There are some restless people who just can't sit on their butts, but more or less constantly strive and go after their dreams: artists of all kind who form the shape of the future for Mankind with their visions, inventors, researchers and businessmen who are driven by finding efficient solutions and delivering better and more products, those who are keen to learn and share their knowledge with others, those who are on the quest of making this world better for themselves, their families, friends and everybody else in the human race, in their homes, at their work places, hobby groups or volunteer organizations, those who are thinking in constructive ideas and resolutions that are the best for all concerned, those who make their ways toward an eternal, total spiritual freedom and help others, too - these people will not spend hours a day in front of the tv, they will not give up easily when told: "No, you can't do that!", "You are not supposed to do that", "You are too (old, young, ...... insert word here) for that", "I will tell you, because I am the expert", "You better do what we say, or else"...

These restless folks just won't listen, they keep going their way.

If you recognize yourself as one of these, we are closely or remotely related with each other in some way, even if we have never met. Thank you for being around and for what you do, keep on going, and now on my birthday, I wish to spend my greatest year with you!

Love, Andrea

ps: I already had a birthday wish and I am a little bit behind with posting the songs, sorry for that! Thank you though for those who are playing it with me, and I am glad that you like the songs!

Also in Andrea's Blog

It's Not Too Late - again

2010-01-06T13:41:00.003+01:00

Life has its happenings, good and bad, happy news, sad news. Whereas two of my Facebook friends got married on the birthday of a third one, next day a dear MySpace friend's daughter passed away suddenly and unexpectedly, on New Year's Eve.

I can imagine that the deepest sadness can be losing one's child - I remember my Grandma and the New Year's Eve I spent with her, right after the funeral of one of his beloved sons...

And I have seen the birth certificate of my big sister, her name was Dead-Born Gerák...

I am not in the age yet when my friends should leave this world, but some of them already did, and I wrote these words to them (in 2006, published here)

IT'S NOT TOO LATE

You've gone away -
When will I see you?
Where will I find you?
Now that you are far away.
Tell me that it's not too late.

I might have hurt you,
I might have not taken good care of you,
I might have not given you
Everything I've meant to.
But tell me that it's not too late.

I remember when we talked,
I remember when we laughed,
I remember when we sang,
As two very good friends.
Tell me that it's not too late.

I was on my way,
You were on your way,
Sometimes worlds apart
But always in my heart.
Tell me that it's not too late.

When you'll come back
I will be the happiest
To embrace you on my chest
'Cause you are the best.
And I know it's not too late.

Many people believe that when a person passes away, only the body dies but the spirit lives on (and many people know this as actual fact, proven by various phenomena which are real, tangible), as it is expressed very nicely in the Rorogwela song, a famous lullaby form the Solomon Islands, in which an orphan girl sings to her little brother about their parents:

"From the island of the dead,
Their spirit will continue to look after us"

Listen to song

If we can accept that our loved one who has died, only left the body but the spirit, the person continues on living, in some other way, our heart will be easier.

It's Not Too Late by Andrea Gerak is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Hungary License

Also in Andrea's Blog

A lil' math

2010-01-05T15:46:00.007+01:00

I got quite some responses to my new year's greeting, (like for example a lady whom I have met only once, 6 years ago, phoning me from Germany and offering her place to stay, if I am ever around that area...), and a few people (amongst my friend a professor of the Hungarian Academy of Science) suggested a little correction: that the new decade does not start with 2010 but with 2011.

Yes my friends, you are completely right! That's what I knew too, and I was a bit confused about seeing all the big fuzz in the media and advertisements, tv etc programs, summarizing the old decade and welcoming the new one, so just to be sure, I asked an expert: my son has high level mathemathics at a very good school, studying it in English, and doing alright (I think I can brag a bit :-))

And he sad: Mom, it's really simple: of course a new decade starts with year xxx1, but there is a common agreement about starting it now, because of the round number. Just think of it: it would have sounded weird to name year 2001 The Big Year, instead of 2000...

Yeah that's true: Y2K sounds cool, but how would it be with Y2K&1? Sounds strange, doesn't it?

And this is my guess: it is much easier to market top lists, top stories etc in the media and merchandise in shops with round figures than with more complicated ones, like 1981 or 2031, etc. Yep, money talks.

So right, we did NOT start the new decade yet, just as a child does not begin the second decade of his life when he just filled 9...

Sorry, if I made anyone more confused about this, hope it's clear now...

And probably this was the only case when I ever followed the mainstream media :-))

Also in Andrea's Blog

(for a marriage)

2009-12-31T18:21:00.010+01:00

Probably the nicest surprise of the year was to hear that two of my beautiful Facebook friends got married yesterday, so I am sending them this poem I wrote a few years ago, for another friend... and if you, dear Reader know about somebody around you getting married, feel free to greet them with these words:

(for a marriage)

The beat of my heart,
hope of my thought,
sound of my sigh,
spark of my eye,
all is yours, from now on.

Or, if I have headache,
if I make a mistake,
almost feel I can't,
and my duty is hard,
it's also yours, from now on.

But the stroke of my hand,
calm of my strength,
dream of my goal,
love of my soul,
all is yours, from now on.

- Andrea Gerak

(for a marriage) by Andrea Gerak is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Hungary License.

Also in Andrea's Blog

My birthday wish

2009-12-30T17:56:00.006+01:00

So Christmas is over, New Year is here AND my birthday is coming, hurray!!

I was thinking about what would I like as a present, of course besides that I would love an aluminium MacBook Pro to replace my very old laptop which might die at any second, and a Caribbean cruise... And sure I have some other wishes, but this is what I can make public:

Did a little math and saw that it's a couple of more days till The Date (Jan 15, if you want to mark it in your calendar :-) And exactly as many days left as the number of tracks of my new album.

I figured: let's post one song a day, with as much info as I can, with lyrics, where are the songs from, etc; probably won't be able to make videos to them, though.

First was the last song of the album, Beli Buba, Beli yesterday, and today A pünkösdi rózsa (The Peony), I will post them in a random sequence, totally up to my caprice.

And let's see how many songs and albums will be downloaded, CDs sold in this period - I am really curious how people like this stuff and how many of my friends, fans and listeners will play with me this.

If you like the tunes, you can get them in various forms: MP3, AAC, FLIC, FLAC, FLUC and you name it, the full album download goes with some goodies, like concert videos, and you pay as musch as you want, the CD you get autographed - can it be a better deal?

And you help me to keep on singing, which is the possibly greatest gift I can get from you, and for which I will be very grateful.

So watch the updates in my places: website, Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, LinkedIn, Feed, etc.

And enjoy the songs :-)
-- Andrea

ps: and have an awesome New Year's party!!

Lonely Christmas, Lovely

2009-12-24T22:12:00.018+01:00

Came home shortly from the city, pretty tired after a big photo walk, put things quickly in order (we left in a hurry, my son had to catch his flight to Budapest), lit a bunch of candles, put on a ring I haven't had for a good while and painted my nails bright red, just to feel more appropriate for the day, and drank up almost the half big bottle of Julmust (that's a Swedish Christmas special soda, somewhat similar to coke) - so this is Christmas...

My Christmas, on my own, after a long while.

I know many people feel sad this time of the year when they don't have anybody to share it with, or when these dates are connected to some very unpleasant memory, like losing someone dear - I could tell a couple of stories when I have seen people crying on the holy days... I heard yesterday but didn't check the correctness of the information, that in Stockholm alone 94 000 (ninety-four thousand!) men "celebrates" lonely, having no any family members and I don't remember the number of women.

Although I am in fact alone, I don't feel lonely for even a second. Called my parents and my godmother, was invited to two or three places with friends, met a few of them and I have sooooo many more friends to think of...

When I am so much connected with lots of people all year round, online and offline, sometimes it is even nice to have my own time, and this Christmas Eve is such a rare occasion.

As I didn't even have time to send out a lot of season greetings yet and a newsletter is really due, not to mention uploading all the songs of my new album This Way, Sweetheart! to my sites with all the info, lyrics and etcetera (everything double: in English AND in Hungarian), I was thinking to write some nice thoughts here.

Two things popped into my mind: one is the gratitude I feel for all those people who are around me and support me in any ways, I can't list all the forms of support: practical things when I need help with something (and these last couple of months have been really probing for me), a smile, an encouraging comment, a following on Twitter etc, being my friend on my countless networks, and so on, and so on, these all count and make me stronger, so that I can give them and to others even more beautiful songs, pictures and other creations.

So please know that if you are in any of these ways connected to me, you were and are contributing at least a tiny little bit to my singing and all other artistic manifestations. And I am very thankful for that, and at these moments I am sending very nice vibes to all my friends, fans, listeners, readers, followers, fellow artists, business contacts and you name it, tons of love to you!!!

I stop here for a moment and think after it: even those very few people in the world I know about that they are my enemies, are helping me to move forward, they do. For they give me a chance to look and see how have I caused that they became enemies from friends and if I have to correct something, I am willing to do that. Which makes me a better and stronger person, hopefully, so thank you boys and girls! :-)

Also, the reasons why I liked them in the first place (which only grew as I knew more about them, obviously, because more communication and more common realities inevitably bring about more affinity between people), the reasons are still there: I still admire certain attributes, abilities or works of them. Although as not being friends any more, we don't do anything together, but that (and whatever they have done to me) doesn't give me a reason to "un-love" them.

And if I flow love and admiration even toward those people I shouldn't bother about, I reckon their attitude towards me can't harm me. And it just feels good; the more love one feels towards others, the better one is doing, isn't it so? Thank you again, for giving me a reason to feel more love.

I think this is how my personal Christmas rambling should conclude:
May The Power Of Love Be With You

Love-ly Christmas everyone!

- Andrea

ps. in the meantime, had a nice piece of chocolate and a Chai tea, maybe not typical for this day, but was it delicious! :-))

Also in Andrea's Blog which is my new main blog

A poem in Arabic

2009-11-28T01:41:00.009+01:00

One of my Facebook friends Munir Mezyed Palestinian poet (please go and say hello to him) translated a poem of mine into Arabic, and chose a portrait َas an illustration. Voila!

جمال العالمِ

الشاعرة الهنغارية : أندريا جيراك

ترجمة : منير مزيد

انظرْ حولك
سَتَرى كُلّ جمال العالمِ
نظرة الولد الشقية
الومضات البرونزية في شَعر الفتاة
رأس أمِّكَ الفضّي
عيون ....سماء لا يُمكنُ أَنْ تَكُونَ بهذه الزرقة
برد بلوري ليوم شتوي
حجر مكسو بالطحلب في جدار القرونِ
الأقدام المخملية للأطفال الرُضَّع
ِالأحذية الحريرية الراقصة
سلطة مِن سبع ألوان
ابتسامة الخوخ المثيرة
أنين الأشجارِ الصغيرةِ
الساعة القديمة على ذلك البرجِ
حتى القطار( الترام ) الأحمر السريع
مطعمكَ المفضّل
أَو فنجان قهوة جديد
كعكة الزنجبيلِ بالقرفة
الشموع المضاءة
البرق القوي
المتزلجون المنتشرون في أرجاء البلدة
أغاني تصدح من الجيتار
صور في البوم
هَلّ يمكنك أَنْ تَرى هذا ؟
يَجيءُ منك كُلّ جمال العالمِ

And the original:

BEAUTY OF THE WORLD

Just look around
and you will see
all the beauty of the world:
A little boy's mischievous glance,
bronze flashes in a girl's hair,
silver head of your mother,
eyes -- sky can't be that blue,
a winter day's crystal cold,
moss-grown stone in a wall of centuries,
velvet feet of little babies,
silk dancing shoes,
salad of seven colors,
tempting smile of a peach,
sigh of young trees,
old clock on that tower,
even a fast, red tram,
your favorite restaurant
or newest coffee cup,
ginger-cinnamon cake,
glowing candles,
powerful lightning,
skaters through the town,
songs from a guitar,
photos of a calendar, --

Can you see this?
It comes from you,
all the beauty of the world.

-- Andrea Gerak

(published here, on my last birthday)

Have a beautiful weekend everyone!

What to do in a graveyard?

2009-11-16T14:01:00.004+01:00

I think on my Facebook fan page I promised to tell about my funny audition and rehearsal last week, and finally now I got around to it, here you go :-) A fun story and hopefully a good lesson for artists about promotion.

On Tuesday afternoon I met the music director of Brannkyrka Kyrka which is just around the corner, for an introduction and to see if my singing is something they can have for a concert or other event.

He greeted me with "So you are Hungarian?" - in the language, and from there on, we spoke in my mother tongue... He turned out to be half-Hungarian, that's how. And I did one song for him, which was from around the village where his family is originated, as we found it out later from his surname...

Isn't coincidence an interesting subject?

And I didn't know then that later in the evening I would go back to this church...

In the night, I was preparing to another audition for the next day and I still had to learn the songs. But it was already late (after 11), which means no singing in the house, my son needed to finish something for his school work and he likes to concentrate when nobody else is around, and I anyway needed to get out and get some fresh air in my lungs - put on my jacket and went out for a walk. Key, card holder in my pocket, stuffed with visit cards and my ID (it's a safe area, but you never know: walking around by yourself, in the middle of the night), plugged the music player of my phone with the songs I had to practice in my ears, set to go.

After checking out the neighboring streets for half an hour or so, listening to the songs and just humming them, I decided I wanted to sing. Where do I do it, so that I don't disturb all the good Swedish people in their sleep?

In the cemetery, of course. Here is one, I already told about my Halloween visit at Midnight...

So I headed toward the church, looked around to see that no houses were close, and finally could get to work.

Perfect. Midnight, dark, cold, in the church graveyard again, not a soul around, just the wind blowing and me singing...

A bit later, I heard steps... coming closer and closer to me... then I heard a man's voice...

Scared yet?

It was a boy, walking his beautiful dog, and asked me why was I singing there, that time. I bet it was not an ordinary phenomenon he experienced :-D

So I explained it to him, we had a little talk, then he went and I continued singing. He turned back after 30 seconds and asked my name. Just for the future, you know, if he would see it on a poster or something...

This is when I give the person a visit card elegantly and tell them that on my website they can listen to more of my songs etcetera, and that's why I have a bunch with me always :-) Even when I go out to the church graveyard all by myself, in the middle of the night...

Andrea Gerak | Promote Your Page Too

The Apple Tree

2009-11-09T17:04:00.067+01:00

Little Birdie loved fruit. Not all kind, she did have some likes and dislikes: she wouldn’t even go near to rotten ones or those that have been soaked in chemicals and other stinky poisons, but she loved crispy, juicy ones. Somehow not really gooseberries or plums, they were just okay.
Her favorites were apples; she could probably just live on it.

She was walking, flying and jumping around in the Big Orchard, minding her own business, saying hello to the walking trees and bushes, other birds, rabbits and deers, chirping, playing and dancing with them, making plans with them of how could the Orchard be arranged in a better way, admiring the greens and blues, smelling the sweet flowers, sometimes fighting for survival, crying for a few loved ones she has lost, trilling with rejoice so beautifully that others could never forget her voice and she was very glad to make them happy, discovering many corners of the Orchard, picking fruits from here and there, tasting them, truly enjoyed the ones she liked and threw away the ones she didn’t, sometimes she would eat so much that she got sick, she was learning which plants and animals were dangerous and how to go about them, which ones were good and safe - sometimes she would even hear that "You can't just sing away", 'You are smiling too much", "You can't just fly wherever you want to", "Life is more serious than you think!", but whenever she listened to such scare-mongering, her wings couldn't take her as high as she wanted, so she didn't bother any more and just kept on singing and flying. Birdie lived in the Big Orchard.

One time, she thought she was quite happy: she nested on a Pear Tree that gave her shadow when the Sun was burning hot and shelter when it was cold or raining. The Pear Tree loved her being around and wanted to keep her forever, would do everything he could to see her smile and hear her sing. She got to see other parts of the Big Orchard as well, met many other trees and bushes, flowers and animals, make friends with them, and she always faithfully returned to the Pear Tree.

Pear Tree was a great one, caring not only for Little Birdie but all the others around him. However, he had pears and Birdie didn’t dare to admit even for herself that it was apples that she’s been always craving for, ever since she was aware of herself, and she was still searching to find some she could really like and eat as much as she wanted. There were maybe moments when she quietly wished that Pear Tree could grow some, but she quickly brushed off this thought, saying to herself that "somehow everything will come out alright..."

Then one day, Little Birdie saw an Apple Tree for a short moment. He was just waving at her for a second, and said a quick hello to her in such a special way that she thought instantly: „This is it, the most beautiful apples I have ever seen. My road is to fly around this Tree, wherever he walks” and this concept struck her as bolt from the blue, yet it felt natural, like something she had always known. But she forgot it instantly, for she was bound to the Pear Tree and that was the order of the Orchard: when you nest on a tree, you shouldn't even think of going real close to another one, period.

The Apple Tree was a giant amongst all trees, tall and proud, emitting rays of love, wisdom and power. Emerald green, crispy leaves, strong trunk, dancing branches – and the apples, oh! Shiny ruby balls, big like a child’s head, crispy, and as they were smiling and dancing on the tree branches, they were giving out such wonderful otherworldly melodies that anyone who heard it was captured forever. So was Little Birdie; her main element was music and she has never experienced such ethereal and powerful tunes that this tree was making through its apples, she could feel the tremendous divine energy coming from Apple Tree.

She would often listen to these sounds, humming or trilling along, or just closing her eyes and flying beyond the stars and the Moon, places in the Universe that ordinary inhabitants of the Big Orchard wouldn’t imagine. Birdie sometimes envisioned herself close by the Apple Tree, singing the melodies she hears from the apples, dancing with them and creating new songs together with the Apple Tree – just a life she has been always dreaming of...

Months went by, and the Apple Tree walked by to see Little Birdie again; this time it was more than simply a flying visit. They started to talk and discovered that they had quite some similarities that could lead them together along fascinating roads to journey down.

Birdie was flying higher than ever in her entire life, singing so wonderfully that her voice mesmerized others more than ever, she never felt so beautiful and radiating and never saw the future so wonderful.

In fact, she did have some bad feelings, because day by day she realized – independently of the Apple Tree stepping into her life, just from paving her own path and envisioning how she would like her future – that she wasn’t really happy with the Pear Tree, but didn’t know how to tell him, she didn’t want to see him break.

Apple Tree was so strong that although he was very far away, in the other side of the Big Orchard, yet it seemed the Little Birdie was just right by its side. They would talk a bit about this and that in life, and mainly about things that made apples so special of all fruits for Birdie: they meant life, spirit, beauty, knowledge, wholeness and perfection for her. Already what she could perceive of these apples was more than tempting for her, she could die for touching them, singing and dancing along with them, taste them, she was one burning desire to fly close and rest in Apple Tree's strong arms. Apple Tree seemed to like Birdie as well: he spoke very softly with her, told her how beautiful she was, how much he wanted her to be there with him, and he could listen to her voice forever...

Birdie loved Apple Tree so much that she couldn’t imagine anything she wouldn’t do for him: bring him water or fresh soil in her beak, tidy up the undergrowth, keep away bugs and rodents, inspire him with her singing to create new rhapsodies, and loudly make the whole Orchard know where can one find the most wonderful apples. Or just sit quietly by the Tree and stroke his branches gently when they get a cut, scratch or bruise, with such a tender touch that no-one else could give.

But apparently, this was not what Apple Tree wanted: one day, not so long after that the strong and powerful Apple Tree and the fragile and beautiful Little Birdie were shedding tears together because Birdie couldn’t be there for him when he would have needed her so much, not so long after that, Tree said to her: „Now it’s enough, I don’t want to hear about you at all for a while, get off!”

Little Birdie could see what she was doing wrong, she understood that such a giant Tree needed to have a bigger space without birds chirping around so much. She tried to apologize and make it up for the Apple Tree, but he was not willing to listen, simply disappeared from Birdie’s view. He seemed to forget that communication was the only solution for everything.

One thousand icy daggers in Birdie's breast, chopping her heart into one million pieces...

It was clear for her that Apple Tree meant no hurt, and actually, her painful bitterness was not caused by him: Birdie knew that it was only an accumulation of heartbreaks she's had through billions of years - at least, she felt that it has been going on for such a long time. She wouldn't blame him for a second, not even in her darkest sorrow.

The only way she could conceal her anguish was to escape into creation, that has always helped. She would take long walks in the Orchard, so that she could concentrate on the environment and not see the pictures of Apple Tree in her mind or anything that would remind her of the lost treasure. She focused on magnifique skies, exciting caves, fragile flowers, powerful waters, rushing trains and for these moments she could forget that she had a heart to mend, the joy of creating kept her in present time and made her look ahead. She would then share these captured moments with her friends and making them smile warmed her broken heart.

When she sang a sad love song, her voice would find their way through the tears strangling her throat, crying out all the pain that has every existed in the Universe... Yet, Apple Tree wouldn't hear her sharpest screams... But when she sang a happy tune, she would imagine that she was hugging her Apple Tree and her heart overflew with the greatest joy, the purest crystal voice soaring out of her soul, lifting up every and all listeners to the sky and beyond. Yet, Apple Tree wouldn't listen to her most brilliant melodies...

Birdie had to keep on flying, singing and smiling, for many others in the Orchard knew her as the one to cheer them up, her singing and her love brightened up their days. And she had to make a new nest for herself and her little one who was just trying his wings and learning to fly.

Because Little Birdie was not bound to Pear Tree any more. She couldn't nest on a pear tree, when she always wanted to have apples...

So she was now free to fly around and rest on any trees, the whole Big Orchard was there for her, and many indeed called her with sweet words, wanted her to be near. But Birdie just couldn't (or didn't want to?) get Apple Tree out of her mind: he embodied all the ideals she could imagine, and in fact, this we have to say if we want to stay as objective as possible, she didn't meet any other similar ones. Apple Tree was just so extraordinary in her eyes. And her beautiful eyes have seen much.

Now Birdie keeps herself busy: learns new songs, makes friends, figures out ways of showing her tunes to the world, creating nice pictures as blueprints for the future, taking care of her little one, making herself strong so that she can keep on flying and singing - what else a Birdie should do?

But on lonely nights, Little Birdie would surround herself with magical music, close her eyes and dream about sitting on top of the most wonderful Apple Tree, looking at the Big Orchard laying below them and up to the sky where those beautiful, shiny ruby apples play hide and seek with the stars. And her singing unites with the whispers and thunders of the Apple Tree, merging into the most miraculous sounds that have ever been born...

www.AndreaGerak.com

Day of Silence - isn't Day of Music better?

2007-06-26T16:13:00.000+02:00

Wow, reading all this fuzz about saving the internet radio today by not playing any music, it's very interesting to see how many different viewpoints can there be on one single subject!

And one can go into endless discussions and debates about such HUUUUUUGE matters as money, business, this and that kind of copy- and other rights, organizations, laws, percentages, rentability, market and all that jazz.

While forgetting the most important thing: we should be talking about MUSIC... And it could be such an incredibly simple thing as
1) there are artists who create stuff and are happy if they can give some nice moments also to others with it
2) there are listeners who are happy to listen the stuff these artists created.

That's the bottom line.

Then, there are different channels that help to make this happen. Doesn't matter what type of media are we talking about, the only clever approach can be to serve these 2 points above. In the way that it is economically fair to all parties.

In other words: an internet radio has to satisfy its listeners AND its artists/labels while figuring out business solutions for their own financial issues.

So my first question was this when I heard about this Day of Silence thing, and it still remained unanswered: if the purpose is to reach more and more listeners and play more and more songs from more and more artists, then how the goddamn heck does it make any sense NOT to play?

A service-minded internet music radio can't afford to shut up even for an hour, in order to "show support to a cause", it just sounds stupid. (Okay, I could understand 1 minute silence occasionally, to honor an exceptionally great artist passing away, but that could be the only reason, not to speak about technical breakdowns now).

Sorry, I don't want to offend the intention of the people and the participating radios, but hey - supporting music by NOT playing music? C'mon, doesn't this sound weird to you?

Have those internet radios asked their listeners if they would agree with NOT getting service for a whole day? Have all the listeners agreed? If not, how do they dare not to play music for them, especially if it's a paid service?

Have those internet radios asked their artists/labels if they would agree with NOT playing their songs for a whole day? Have all those artists agreed? If not, how do they dare to force artists into a strike the artists didn't want???

Just ask a musician: if they want to say something, protest against something, raise their voices about an issue, would they do it by shutting up? Hell no! They would rather grab their instruments or sing, wouldn't they? If an artist, instead of saying his or her opinion by displaying his or her art, chooses to stay silent and sitting back in the corner, that artist is suppressed by manipulating powers of others.

Those who communicate in the right way, will survive. Those who don't, won't. As simple as it is. Sometimes, simple things can be very hard to grasp, for many.

As an artist myself, I only support those solutions where the listeners, the artists and the channels in between ALL benefit. And cutting back on SERVICE is the worst solution one can figure out.

If a radio station has money problems, can't they come up with solutions of how to give better service and clever marketing and promotion ideas? That's the only way to attract more listeners, artists, advertisers and other partners.

And as far as the initiating entity, the SoundExchange, I should better check them out and see how the hell is it possible what I read about them that I should PAY first, in order to obtain my copyright shares...

So I just posted a new song to my artist page on Last.FM and right now I am listening to one of my favorite tag stations - just have to find out how to turn up the volume on this computer :-))

Have a good day everyone, with a lot of cool music!

Life without internet

2007-05-10T12:09:00.000+02:00

How can that be? Can you imagine it?

In the last couple of days I am having problems with the internet connection, it's on for maybe half an hour or just 10 minutes, then it's off. The provider is working on fixing it (well they could be a bit faster...)

I tell you it's quite some experience, living life without the web...

Not being able to Skype my son and talk with him about everything, sometimes for hours, can't answer messages, emails, no blogging, no networking, no any business, no anything. Can't even check the weather or the programs in the city! What is even worse than that, I found a very exciting beauty product line, but I can't check where do they sell it :-((

I would only move to The Inhabited Island Of My Dreams if I can get internet there :P

Okay, let's look at the positive side of it: I did two test recordings - indeed, this is the first time when I figured out some completely new melodies that I haven't learned anywhere, so this is something! It's thrilling, two different music, very challenging. You will hear more about it when the times comes.

I created yet another little video to one of my older songs, sorted out hundreds of photos on the computer, did some extra gymnastics :-))) extra cleaning and of course, had some nice walk, movie and such with my hubby.

Actually, isn't it great to have a break every now and then?

I wonder how much are you hooked on the net. For how long could you be without it?

I might only be able to read your answers on Sunday, earliest. Going on a family trip to Finland in the real world and not virtual...

Have a great week+end everybody, on or offline!

April Summer in Stockholm

2007-04-16T12:49:00.000+02:00

The weekend was really gorgeous: the temperature climbed up to around 30 degrees in sunny places. Finally, no more wintercoat! Well, after freezing through Easter it's time to warm up, big time.

So yesterday we decided to have a little picnic by the sea. Here's where we went, with pictures

Stephen Colbert's Apology to Hungarians

2007-04-13T11:05:00.000+02:00

Comedian Stephen Colbert, after making not so nice remarks about Hungarians in his show a couple of days ago, says sorry.

András Simonyi, Hungarian Ambassador in US shows on his guitar what is rock'n'roll, yeah!!!

Operation Bite: Attack against Iran on Good Friday - was a hoax?

2007-04-05T09:49:00.000+02:00

Are you still getting emails and messages, bulletins about Operation Bite, are you still reading it on the net? Time to direct your attention on some more interesting subjects.

Operation Bite - this is how a sneak attack by the USA against Iran, planned for tomorrow, Good Friday, around 4am is called.

Scary news circulating on the net: World War 3 is coming!

In the Middle East, I have friends and fans in probably every area, so whatever happens there, I stand on the side of NO WAR. Decent people living there don't want that and don't deserve that anyway.

War, especially if it can escalate into a World wide, nuclear mess is a serious matter. So what is this whole fuzz about?

There are a few tiny little details in this story that just don't freaking add up:

1. I read an article of a Hungarian news site, which is considered pretty fair. They quote the Russian tabloid Komszomolszkaja Pravda as source. The KP claims that they have gotten this news from American and West-European tv-channels - withouth naming only even one.

2. Anyway, why does the mainstream media not write about this sensation? Let's take CNN or Reuters, they don't even mention Operation Bite. Do a search on Google and you will find that it's blogs, lesser known portals and forums where you will se anything about it. Right now it's not even 20 hours left until 4am tomorrow morning, you should be hearing and reading EVERYWHERE about that the World War 3 is here! Wouldn't make it sense for all the media to be busy with a subject that would attract record number of visitors? Instead, in the headlines today, I can see something about the Microsoft Outlook 2007, "Pet food deaths could rise sharply" (CNN), about mobile phones, the net and Victorinox (Komszomolszkaja Pravda), "Indonesia Playboy editor cleared" (BBC)... :-D And they all cheer about the Iran decision of letting the British soldiers home.

3. The earliest mention of this Operation Bite in English language one can find on March 25 and independent news site in Portland, USA. The articles after this date quote only this one as source, which was published from the same author on a few other places as well.

From around 1st of April(don't you know this date from somewhere? :-)) an avalanche started and there one can see a lot of blog and forum posts, and articles still only on less significant sites. We trace it back and the one and only source turns out to be a retired Russian general. (see again question #1...)

4. The statements of this Russian military expert appear on the net first already on March 19(!) on the Russian RIA Novosti news site. Well, it's true: it's only in French and German. Interestingly enough, they still didn't manage to translate it into English, since then...

5. Sneak attack... Yeah, sure. The American government would allow details of a surprise attack circulating on the web, almost 3 weeks before the planned time... C'mon, waky, waky!

Operation Bite.

You'd better have a big bite of the Easter ham, lamb and cakes, or whatever you eat for this occasion.

So have a peaceful, loveful Easter time everybody!

My New Years Eve

2007-01-05T07:53:00.000+01:00

It's really time now for some serious partying!

I think since my age of 11, I always had a great party at New Years Eve. In my dancer years, after the trainings or performances, we would anyway have some ball, very often, or go out to a táncház. Just imagine: listening to Muzsikás, Téka, Méta, Béla Halmos & Kalamajka, Ökrös and other excellent folk musicians playing for long hours for you, jamming, and you dance and sing together with all the other people, often till early in the morning - oh, gosh! One of the greatest experiences one can have. And that was the normal thing to do, in those circles.
Something like this one:

And at New Years Eve (in Hungary you call it Sylvester, after that name's day and you call the first of January "New Year", 'cause that's the actual new year, on the last night of the year you say goodbye to the old year, doesn't it make sense?) you start the night anywhere between 7 and 10, warm up with a concert or other performance, but you don't hesitate a lot, the party begins and there you go: sing, dance, and chat with your friends while the band plays in the background.

By Midnight, you've already had a decent lenght of good time behind you.

At 12, you have all the champagne stuff, going around with your glass in the hand and wish happy new year to everybody in the house, etc. At most of the places - maybe today it's not so general any more - they sing the Himnusz and then they toast.

After that, it really begins to kick off. In other countries I have been to (Austria, Switzerland and now in Sweden) they end off the whole thing shortly after Midnight, at 1 or 2 o'clock. How disappointing is that?

Now, for example, me and my husband went out for a dinner, with a company of 50 people or so. I only knew a few people, so it was a great occasion for me to get closer with them a bit. We had a great time talking about all kind of stuff: plans for the future, co-operations, music, photography, family, food, travels and everything. Absolutely nice folks! You can even see two of them in my Top Friends on MySpace: Eva Ekwall and Mimmi Siegel, who came with their gentlemen, of course.

Yeah, and the food. I hardly ate anything that day - that's what a girl does when she goes out for an exclusive dinner and she puts on her nice dress. Well, next time I'd better be prepared about the menu...

It was real gourmet thing, wonderful! As a starter, duck lever mousse on toast, then cod with flavoured mashed potatoes and some green, round beans. Then came the main dish, but it was also as small as a starter: a piece of elk (like a kid's fist) in a delicious sauce, with a few pieces of pumpkins and fresh thymian. It was well designed, but I can't find the picture at the moment.

The desert was also awesome:

Forest berries in parfe and some creamy thing, even there was a taste of it in the specially made, very rich chocolate. The little orange ball is a physalis, this I thought it was some Nordic fruit, for I haven't seen it anywhere else so far, only as decoration - now I just learned that this fruity version grows in warm and subtropical areas. The flowers you could eat, I did so with the yellow one. The other one I put in my hair. Looked like a Spanish lady: slick updo, big earrings, red lipstick, red scarf...

At one o'clock, just as my hubby predicted it, people started to put on their coats and say good night. So that was it.

With Eva and her husband, we wanted to continue with a nice tea - well, after just sitting for a good couple of hours, we got tired... But the place they wanted to go with us was shut at New Year's Eve, isn't that crazy?

I suggested my husband that we would just drive around town a bit, so that I can see how is it here in Stockholm, but there was nothing to see: almost empty streets, a few people going home.

So we popped in to his brothers and his girlfriend's house, another bro was also there. Johnny Cash, a lot of laugh (they were through a couple of drinks), talks about family matters, jokes. I was very happy about the cake, even if it was too sugary, bacause I was still hungry after the dinner... A little Port wine to it - nice.

Yes, we did make it: went home at 5. But for the next 2 days I felt sooo homesick! I knew about at least 2 huge parties in Budapest with my friends, and I read in the news about all the open air concerts and street balls in Budapest - oh, dear! Yeah, and it's very common that on the 1st of January, you head for yet another New Year's party.

So we decided that this year, if something special won't turn up, we will go to Hungary for New Year. Maybe we should take a few Swedish friends with us, so that they can get a bit educated in how to celebrate for real. :-)

It's Not Too Late

2006-10-11T16:13:00.003+02:00

I was very excited about our high school reunion at the end of this month - it's been since ages that I haven't seen my class mates. An hour ago, I heard that one of them has passed away. She was the one I liked most.

Yet another friend in Switzerland a couple of months ago, who was always smiling, laughing, happy in life, dropping honey even on the most bitter hearts. Another girl of my age in Budapest who also used to be a dancer and who left two teen daughters behind. Four other musician friends also play the violin somewhere in the sky, since not a very long time. Three of them were not-so-old Hungarian Gypsies from Transylvania, played for my first wedding, years back. The forth one was a boy in Budapest who sometimes was accompanying our dance group for the rehearsals and performances.

These couple of words are written to them.

IT'S NOT TOO LATE

You've gone away -
When will I see you?
Where will I find you?
Now that you are far away.
Tell me that it's not too late.

I might have hurt you,
I might have not taken good care of you,
I might have not given you
Everything I've meant to.
But tell me that it's not too late.

I remember when we talked,
I remember when we laughed,
I remember when we sang,
As two very good friends.
Tell me that it's not too late.

I was on my way,
You were on your way,
Sometimes worlds apart
But always in my heart.
Tell me that it's not too late.

When you'll come back
I will be the happiest
To embrace you on my chest
'Cause you are the best.
And I know it's not too late.

- Andrea Gerak

Update (6 Jan 2009): I found a video with a few of the musicians I mentioned here:

You are all still with us...

Cold Winds Are Blowing

2006-10-06T23:03:00.000+02:00

My current profile song on MySpace is from the MUZSIKAS which is one of Hungary's bands that are known all around the world.

From my age of 10, their music was daily food for me: I would listen to it, learn songs from their records, sing them together with my friends, often we would put on a bakelit and dance to Muzsikas, and the best was to listen to them at a concert and go to their clubs where they would play for hours and hours for those who wanted to dance.

Check out their profile and listen to them!

This song is called "Cold Winds Are Blowing" and it talks about winds, birds and freedom.

Today, 6th of October is a memorial day for Hungary: remembering those Generals who were executed on this day in 1849, after losing the revolution against the Habsburgs.

At this moment, I am listening to the live broadcasting from the session of the Hungarian Parliament where the members will vote about the Prime Minister and the Government. The main question is not about the PM's person or of the other Ministers - it's about the democratic future of Hungary.

Big moments.

I hope they will be sane enough to make the right decision and 6th of October will be a great day to remember in the country's history.

Well, I started with a song and just rambled a little bit with my thoughts...

My private MySpace profile

2006-10-04T22:57:00.000+02:00

I just upgraded my private profile on MySpace, which shows a little bit more of who's the person behind the singer called Andrea Gerak, so that I can keep the other one rather separately as my artist profile

Have a look and if you like it, join me :-)

A note on today's Hungary

2006-09-20T15:02:00.000+02:00

My country is in the international headlines these days. The riots are over - but what is going on in this small corner of the world? I am following the happenings through live broadcasts, uncut interviews, speeches and publications of the Prime Minister and his side, leaders of the opposite and comments of "average" Hungarian citizens on several channels.

People should see for themselves and form their own views, and not take the opinions of filtered communications in the media of various colours. An almost one hour long, uncut live TV interview with Mr. Ferenc Gyurcsany, without the comments of anybody else, obviously says much more than a 15-minute interview by another TV, of which only 8.5 minutes have been published so far and which is commented with a sentence that is heard from the PM's opposers. To such a media company with manipulated news, I don't give any credit, not even to the biggest companies.

So what is happening, if we try to look at it from an objective viewpoint? I am not interested in any of the political parties, nor to speak pro or contra any of them. That's not the name of the game.

It should be clear that the whole turmoil is caused by several reasons. Sometimes one needs to be shaken, in order to wake up. Improperly used words can also cause upsets. The feeling of being abused can also trigger misemotions in many people. There might very well be circles that are actively creating the disturbance, in order to achieve their dirty ends. Lack of knowledge and understanding of the real situation makes people react in ways that are far from common sense - from leading politicians to John Smiths in the countryside. Various media interpretations don't make the scene easier either. Ridiculous games between parties, blaming others, hate and rumor mongering don't help anyone.

It would be too early to state who exactly and how exactly caused the whole thing.

But this has to be also very clear: this country has only one choice and that is upward, to become a flourishing and prospering land. The other way would be further decay with a catastrophe, which is unthinkable for every sane person and group, inside or outside Hungary.

First, one has to really UNDERSTAND it what is the meaning of 'truth', 'lie', 'responsibility' and 'freedom' - at least these concepts. It is not a new thought but often seems to be neglected that one can't be free without taking responsibility first.

To that, the first elementary step is honesty, being able to see and to say what is true, even if it's painful, even if one needs to admit one has done wrong. After that have to come the next steps of making decisions as to how to go on. One should then continue to do what is one doing, if that is right and it serves the interests and betterment of most people involved - in this case it's a whole nation, including the person himself or herself - or one should change and do everything possible to straighten out the matters.

Only those can be supported, who are able to do this, the others have to leave from the playground.

Regardless of their political stands, positions in the society or occupations.

There is no any single Hungarian person or group (except little children) who is in one way or other isn't responsible for what is happening in the country today, including myself.

Hungary has been in much more difficult and dramatic situations throughout the history, yet survived. I personally do believe in that she is making her way, and as to me, I am ready to do everything that I can with my means to contribute to this. My vision for the future is a Hungary which is the economical-cultural centre of Middle-Europe, which can be reached, I think.

This article has appeared as a reference at USA Today

My Heart Will Go On

2006-06-29T21:01:00.000+02:00

I wrote this a few years ago, I think 5, but didn't really show it around. Now I just thought it might be an interesting read, so I share it with you...

Playing music in the streets is such a special experience that it is far beyond the imagination of people I've met.

Some people might think: "Oh, poor girl has to sing in the streets to earn her supper.Oh, what a pity!" But they wouldn't drop me 1 cent or ask if they could help me in some way, they would just walk by, with nose up high - or going so deep in their emotions that they get saaaad from sympathy...

And what I think of those people: "Oh, this lady, she has to wake up each morning at 6, in the office all day long she has to answer phone calls, type letters, wear always perfect business outfit, fighting with machinations of "nice" collegues, sit at the computer till her back hurts, then after work she can go shopping and do all the house work, deal with the kids, and if she doesn't fall asleep in front of the tv, then thanks to certain amount of alcohol she needs in order to forget about all her pain and stress, she still can try to give a smile to her husband who just came home from a date. And maybe, as a little girl, she was dreaming about being on stage one day, singing or dancing, or doing other art forms, painting or something the like. But I am free as a bird, don't know alarm clock, whenever I like a place, I just go there, in jeans and clogs, and do what I always loved to. Having fun, giving something nice to other fellows, and I even get some exchange for it... who is poor?"

Singing in the street is one of the best schools I can imagine. Here you can observe all type of people, you can make experiments, learn how to deal with different personalities and emotions, keep on going no matter what happens, and a lot more.

I was singing in Munich, Germany, without any music. It's a nice place there, with excellent acoustics. If I just opened my mouth it could be heard all around the street and beyond. And people were grateful for it, stopping by and listening.
When I got to the Titanic song, I would go "...and my heart will go o-o-o-on and o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-on", you know, giving out all what I had, my heart and everything, -- a boy passed by, very close to me, and he put a burning cigarette into my mouth...

Fortunately, I could grab his hand fast enough so he took the cigarette out and I didn't even had to interrupt my song, finished it nicely.

My heart will go on and on...

How Hungarian are you?

2006-06-02T23:17:00.000+02:00

In the !Hungary! Group on MySpace, there is a topic called "How Hungarian are you?"

I find it very interesting to read what people from every corner of the world answer to this. The most common answers tell you 1/2, 1/4, 100% etc, according to how many of their parents & grandparents are/were Hungarians.

As I love to write, and sometimes I'm also a bit philosophycal, I came up with this:

If I look at my genes: my last name is not a typical Hungarian one, it must be some Slavic origin, Bulgarian, Slovakian or Polish, I'm not sure, but my grandmother and up knew we were Hungarians. And funny enough, the word gerak, without the special accent on the a means movement or moving in Indonesian, if I am not wrong.

In my mother's family: her mother's last name implied a Saxon origin, her father's family had a Slovakian last name 100 yrs ago, but they were also Hungarians.

I can't make the math from all this, don't ask me percentages...

I am simply: Hungarian!!!

Yes, that's true: throughout the whole history of Hungarians we were mixed with people from other countries. This way, it's quite difficult to trace back "how many percent Hungarian are you" by the blood. It's rather a matter of what do you KNOW what you are.

I am sure that my family, for example, way back had some Slovakian or whatever Slavic connection - but all we know that we are Hungarians. Period.

It's the same with many other families, unless one can prove that their ancestors arrived with Arpad... (for those who don't know him: in the history of Hungary, he was the main leader of our nation the Magyars when they arrived in the Carpathian Basin, around 896. His offsprings wree the first kings of Hungary)

Of course, there is such a genetic thing for one as "My family is x % Hungarian" - as far as they can go back to 1, 2, maybe 3, 4 generations. This is something great to keep, and gives one the feeling of belonging to a certain group for a whole life.

The more important point for one is to fully assume the identity of being Hungarian, and not just use it as a facade and behaving as a jerk ("I am MAGYAR!! Hungary rules!!! Get it, you motherfucking dickhead?" or something),
- but live life in such a way that anyone can say about them: "Hungarians? They are cool people! Once I've met one, and he/she was..." and they would tell a nice story which will remain their impression about Hungarians.

I think this is what really counts. Anybody would agree?

Hahaha, I just realized, it's really funny: I'm writing about me being Hungarian - in English... Don't worry magyarok, I'll write this down also magyarul, it just takes hell of a lot time to get all those characters out of my old machine.

Diamonds in my hair

2006-05-07T21:08:00.001+02:00

It was my son's very last day in the kindergarten, on a hot summer afternoon in Budapest. I saw a make-up artist for a test, wanted her to teach me a make-up for the stage, which would look natural but my features can be seen well.

OK, she said, it's 15 minutes, you don't need much foundation, so I just put a little bit here, and so on, and so on. At the end, I looked into the mirror from a decent distance -- Geeee, beauuuutiful! Well shaped, strawberry red, glossy lips, huge eyes with XXXL lashes, etc, better than a Hollywood star!!! But from 40 cm-s... Oh, my God! My skin looked thick like a wall, and the rest... Brrrr!
And I was in a hurry, had to pick up my son. So, imagine this picture: a girl in casual jeans but with such a rich "painting" on her face as of a scarlet woman, in 30°Celsius, running along the Grand Boulevard, then jamming in the subway, when the traffic is at its peak. Fortunately, I could pull my baseball cap deeeep into my face

When I arrived to the kindergarten, my son Shanko would just stand there, staring at me and thinking. I tried to cheer, standing far enough from him, so that I don't scare him away with my mask:
-- Hi, honey, do you recognize your mother?
-- Ehem...
-- And what do you think, am I nice?
He would just stand there, staring at me with his huge brown eyes, sucking his finger, thinking, thinking, thinking... Then he finally came up with the conclusion:
-- No.
-- ????
-- You know, Mom, you should wear a long, nice skirt, like the princesses, have long hair, and put some diamonds in your hair. Then you'll be nice.

DIAMONDS IN MY HAIR
(written to my son, when he was 6)

You say I'm not nice enough,
You say I'm not a princess yet,
You say: "Get some diamonds
And put them in your hair --
Then you'll be nice."

Do you wanna see me to be a princess?
Do you wanna see me to be nice?
Do you wanna see diamonds in my hair?

Give me your diamonds
And let them shine on you.

You say you're not strong enough,
You say you're not big enough,
You say you don't have anything,
What could you do for me?My little son.

Give me your diamonds
And let them shine on you.

I say you're strong enough,
I say you're big enough,
I say you have everything
'Cause you have your diamonds in your eyes.

Give me your diamonds
And let them shine on you.
Andrea Gerak, 1999

Violets

2006-04-26T20:09:00.000+02:00

So many things happened in those 7 days in Hungary that I just can't convince myself to sit down and write about everything. I just decided now to start anyway, and add one paragraph or two, randomly, as they come into my mind...

The Biggest Thing was to meet my son who lives in Budapest with his dad. I was on the road from 7am, a bit exhausted at 4pm when I saw him, but guess what he gave to me: a bunch of violets, picked by himself!!! A Really Coool Boy, a heavy metal fan teenager... He's carried them in his hands, so they got a bit sad. Unfortunate little creatures, they became only worse when I carried them in my hands, 3 more hours in the big city, through McDonalds, shopping, trams, subway, with my big bag and all, then 3,5 more hours on the train to my home town... Yet, they kept their wonderful smell and stayed alive until I could put them in the nicest cristal glas bowl where they had enough space to swim and absorbe plenty of water.

Four days later I went back to my parents house again, the violets were still waiting for me, with the sweetest odor...

Going to Hungary!!

2006-04-09T20:04:00.000+02:00

I am so happy to go to Hungary tomorrow, for a whole week!!!I have been to quite a few places but Budapest is still my Number One city.

Just to hang around with my husband and son, see my parents & brother, meet a few friends (also some from MySpace that I haven't met before), do some shopping - first of all CDs with EXCELLENT Hungarian music.

On my website, there is a few links to good places if you want to have a really good time and get some taste of how Hungarians party.

Have a good time!

Words...

2006-03-15T21:03:00.000+01:00

Here I intend to put some episodes of my life; every once in a while I would write a story that might be interesting to read. They can be sad, funny, odd, thoughtful, they can move all kind of emotions. I would share them with the purpose of giving you more reality about a "daydreaming, crazy artist", a person "walking on clouds", a "poor girl making her way", a "chick who is so different", the "beautiful lady", the "fantastic singer".
If with these writings I can give inspiration to others to follow their ways, I will be happy.
-- Yours, Andrea